Voice of Abandon Read online

  “Thank you, my lady. I have to say that’s the highest honor I’ve ever received.”

  “Oh no, I don’t believe that.” She walked closer to him, finding herself relaxing more in his presence. “You’ve won many awards including a Grammy and you’ve been in more esteemed company than myself, I’m sure.”

  His handsome face scowled slightly in thought and he nodded. “More esteemed perhaps, but none that is so flattering and meaningful to me.”

  Julianna noticed how close she stepped toward him. His blue eyes faced hers and she could feel the heat of his body drawing her closer to him. The spotlights, she tried to tell herself. It had to be the spotlights from the stage. He was still perspiring, beads of sweat forming around his forehead and temples. His breath was slightly labored and from here she could sense his heartbeat still racing. He looked at her in a way that made her feel desired. A feeling she hadn’t felt since Frederick died. In fact, this man…this Andrew Graham, was igniting a host of feelings that had been dormant since Frederick’s death.

  “I was hoping to see you again,” Andrew said suddenly. He laughed a little. “I’m sorry.” He stepped back, dabbing his forehead a little. “I shouldn’t have been forward.”

  “Actually,” she reached out, touching his sleeved arm. Despite the material there, her hand warmed with the touch. “I was hoping to see you. My mother-in-law invited you for tea and brunch but I was hoping to spend some time with you. Just you and I. I don’t want you to think that I’m trying anything. Or that I do this often.” Julianna nearly jumped when she felt his touch on her arm. Something magnetic was happening between them but she wasn’t quite sure what. She wasn’t even sure if she wanted to define it for fear the magic would be lost. Judging from the look in his eye, she hoped he felt the same way, too.

  Andrew couldn’t believe what he was doing. He was actually trying to court a princess. A beautiful regal woman who was part of a royal family. It wasn’t his intention to get involved with anyone. He had made that promise to his heart and himself after one loss. He would lose himself in his music and tours. That was where he found solace. But as he looked into Princess Julianna’s beautiful eyes, felt her warm, comforting touch on him and the closeness of her body to his, he knew he wanted her near. The moment he heard her voice behind him, he was sure it was a residual from his thoughts about her. Since he saw her watching from the audience, he couldn’t stop thinking about her and was more than reluctant to take his eyes off her.

  And now she stood before him, desiring to see more of him as he did her. All he could do was oblige her.

  Andrew nodded, placing his hand over hers on his arm. “I would be most honored, my lady.”

  Julianna’s smile widened and he swore his heart leapt in his chest. “Wonderful. You can come by the palace tomorrow if you are free. I’m sure we would love to hear more of your wonderful compositions.”

  “I’ll be there.”

  “Julianna?” A man’s voice broke into the reverie of the moment. Andrew arched his head, following her gaze over her shoulder where a tall man in a suit with light brown hair stood. Andrew remembered this man as Prince Phillip DeWinters, Julianna’s brother-in-law and brother to Frederick.

  Phillip’s gaze danced between the two and he immediately stiffened his stance. As if remembering his expression, he quickly smiled and took a short bow but the tension still remained.

  “My pardon, Mr. Graham, but we’re about to leave and I wanted to escort the Princess home.”

  Andrew returned the bow. “Of course, it is getting a bit late.” He turned to Julianna, wondering if the shadow of disappointment was all in his mind or if it had really fallen upon her lovely face. Without another thought, he brought her hand up to his lips and gave it a gentle kiss. “Hope you have a wonderful evening, my lady. And the same to the rest of your family.”

  “Rather extraordinary young man,” Marie Caroline later said in the limo on the way back to the castle. “He must keep his schedule busy. I wonder if he has any family.”

  “Not that I understand,” Tiana interjected. “He doesn’t date much and he keeps to himself.” She turned to her right, noticing her husband watching her. “What? He’s one of my favorite classical musicians, I was curious about him.”

  Tiana wrapped her arms around him as they fell into a soft chuckle. Julianna was deep in her thoughts ever since bidding Andrew goodnight. She was thankful Phillip didn’t offer her any questions but the rather tight grasp he held her arm in confirmed her suspicions. As they left the hall, she could feel Andrew’s presence slipping further away from her and with it that comforting feeling. She couldn’t understand what happened but she knew something was sparked the moment she heard the opening strings of Andrew’s violin.

  “I hope you had a good evening, Julianna.”

  It took her a moment to realize it was Phillip talking beside her. She immediately sat up and straightened herself, hoping her thoughts didn’t fall upon her expression. “I did indeed. I’m glad I joined everyone tonight. I have a feeling I’ll remember it for as long as I live.”

  The words made her heart flutter. Just how she will remember it, remained to be seen, even to herself.

  The chatter remained light on the way back home as it was to the theatre. Julianna couldn’t wait to get to her room for peace and quiet. She wanted to remain within her own thoughts and figure out just what was happening between her and the enticing violinist. She took Phillip’s hand when it was offered and bid everyone goodnight with a polite smile on her face.

  “Julianna.”

  She froze and turned around at the sound of her name. The shuffle of dresses and footsteps fell all around her as the family departed their separate ways once they entered the home. She looked into Phillip’s bright eyes and noted the tense pursing of his mouth as he shifted his stance. It felt like he had something to say and she waiting patiently to hear it. She watched as he stood straight and inhaled as if he was gathering the strength to speak.

  “I just wanted to say I’m glad you came tonight. I’m proud to have escorted you.”

  “Thank you, Phillip I really did enjoy myself.” Turning to leave, she stopped once she heard him speak once more.

  “I wanted to say…Well, I just wanted you to know that you’re welcome here anytime. I’m sure we would miss you if you were to leave. Myself especially.”

  “That’s very sweet of you, Phillip.”

  “If you wished to stay and retain your crown, I would be the next in line over Welshire. I would take care of you, Julianna. I know it won’t be the same as with Frederick, but I would surely be here by your side.”

  Julianna felt a shiver throughout her body. “Phillip, as much as I appreciate it, I don’t want to be yours or anyone’s responsibility or duty. Despite how I may seem, I’m very capable of taking care of myself.”

  “No, I understand it. Of course. I just—” He approached her and took her hands in his own. Warm, slightly damp hands that reminded her too much of Frederick’s. “I just care for you. I always have. I always felt Frederick was a fortunate man to find someone like you. Perhaps I’ve been looking all my life for someone like you. I feel like Frederick is watching over us and he would want me to care for you. Nothing would have to change, at all.”

  His words spun around her mind. Perhaps part of her was tempted to take the offer. The strong lines of his jaw angled around an aristocratic, ruggedly handsome face. His celestial blue eyes focused on her with a sense of warmth that went straight to her heart. She knew his offer was tempting. Even now she wanted to say yes and enter that security she had so lost with Frederick’s demise. But she knew better. Now was not the time to make rash decisions, perhaps moving or otherwise.

  “May I think on it awhile?” She didn’t realize how close he had moved until then. Her breath nearly caught in her throat as she took in his soft male scent mixed in with the hint of cologne.

  He nodded and smiled, showing off his small dimples. “Of course.” He ra
n his hands along her arm. “I’ll be here, for anything you may need.”

  “I appreciate that.” She reached up and gently kissed him on the cheek. “Good night, Phillip.”

  Julianna turned on her heels, feeling his gaze warm over her. She didn’t realize she was holding a breath until she got to her room and closed the door behind her. It was then she finally felt the day weigh over her and the sadness return once again.

  Chapter 3

  “Encore! I could listen to this all day!” Marie-Caroline said from her chair seated at the front of the room.

  The small brunch turned into a mini event with guests and friends of the royal family from all over Welshire. Julianna was amazed at how many fans of Andrew Graham’s milled at the gates. She noticed he was more than willing to stop and sign a few autographs on his way in. He always kept a bright demeanor, eager to share his love for music with his fans. She admired him for that and no matter what he was doing, he was always patient to stop and talk to each one.

  Before brunch, she watched the ladies flock to him and the gentlemen invite him over for a chat about his inspirations. Every time Andrew spoke, he was attentive, looking them straight in the eye and nodding with understanding. Julianna hoped to have some time to speak with him, but she had her own guests to attend to. Before she had a chance to approach him, brunch was promptly served. While they ate, her in-laws engaged im in conversation. Phillip was more than willing to pull out a chair next to her and unfortunately placed himself in between her and Andrew. She had to wonder if that was a coincidence or not.

  Part of her was glad when Phillip got called away for a business dealing inquiry that couldn’t wait. It was then Andrew gave his concert to the remaining brunch goers, always with a chorus of “just one more”. His handsome face blushed and he bowed his head.

  Julianna stood near the back of the castle music room, standing amidst the seated members as she watched him closely.

  “This has to be one of my favorite pieces,” Andrew began as he peered down at the violin in his hand. He stole a quick glance at her across the room and Julianna felt as if it was just the two of them existing in this world. “It reminds me of a love reawakened after being long dormant. One of Jules Massenet’s compositions called Élégie.”

  His expression cleared and despite his focus on the instrument he brought up to his chin and the bow he raised in his other hand, Andrew Graham’s spirit was no longer there in the same room as her.

  Silence fell across the large room until the high pitched sound of Massenet’s Élégie broke into the air. A haunting melody that spoke of human emotion so ancient and classic. Julianna felt enraptured by the song as it continued, telling a tale, an elegy, of love lost and love gained with the high passionate sweep of the notes. She watched Andrew, his eyes closed, his body possessed by the music as he moved to and fro with the sweep of his bow. Emotions fell across his face: bliss, longing, love, strength, regret and desire. He finished the song with a slow rise to the highest pitch and eased the final note out as he drifted along with the sound.

  The room burst into a loud applause and his audience rose to their feet. Andrew brushed away the sweat from his forehead with the back of his hand. He smiled shyly, taking a bow to each side of the room.

  Julianna pushed away from the wall and watched the group swarm toward him, congratulating and shaking his hand as they took turns to speak with him.

  “Enchanting, isn’t he?” Tiana leaned against the other side of the door frame as she joined Julianna.

  “I guess you could say that.” Julianna flinched, feeling a quick swat on her arm. “Ow. What?”

  Tiana’s bright blue eyes seemed to brighten even more with her smile. “Oh, come on. Even I notice it. He’s a handsome, passionate chap and very sweet. I’m still surprised no one has swept him off his feet.”

  “Married to his music, perhaps?”

  Tiana shrugged. “That’s what I figured from what I read.”

  “Mmm, the news you shared with Anthony and the rest of us yesterday.”

  Tiana stepped forward grabbing a strawberry from a passing server. She bit into it, licking her lips slowly. “Yes, well. He is my favorite classic musician. And yes, he is quite handsome. I can tell you thought the same.”

  Julianna’s mouth fell open. “What? I didn’t…I mean, I didn’t say anything.”

  “You didn’t have to,” Tiana said sweeping her hand up and down. “It’s all over your face.”

  “Right.” Julianna cleared her throat, trying to hide her grin. She never had a sister before and since marrying into Frederick’s family, she had inherited that and so much more. With it came the ribbing that only siblings gave each other. She turned, her gaze falling as he headed away from the music room.

  “Ah ha! I knew it!”

  “Knew what?” Julianna said whipping around.

  Tiana bit into her strawberry again, her gaze narrowing on Julianna. “You want him.”

  “Want? Tiana, don’t be absurd.”

  “I can’t blame you, sister-in-law,” Tiana said walking in front of her. “The passion he puts into his music is easy to see. I can imagine he’d be that passionate with a woman. Heating those sheets up like he does that instrument.”

  “Tiana!” Julianna grabbed her sister-in-law’s arm and pulled her away from the door of the music room. Thank goodness Andrew was surrounded by the brunch-goers. The last thing she wanted him to hear was how he passionate he was or how he heated sheets. How soft his hands would be, dancing across skin like the bow of a violin. Perhaps how he would take his time with her as he moved in for a kiss.

  “Ah ha! Look at your face,” Tiana grinned. “You’re wondering yourself, aren’t you?”

  Julianna exhaled softly, wishing the cool air from outside would reach inside. Suddenly it was getting really hot in here. “It’s not my business to wonder what Andrew Graham’s sex life is like much less how passionate he is toward a woman he’s interested. I mean, sure it’d be interesting to see on a purely curious level but to even think that it’s any of my business…”

  Tiana had disposed of the strawberry somewhere when Julianna wasn’t looking. Now she stood, pursing her lips. “So you’re telling me if you had the chance to find out, you wouldn’t?”

  “It would feel…weird.”

  “Because of Frederick?”

  Julianna opened her mouth to retaliate but the clench that started in her heart before sluicing throughout her body confirmed the answer to Tiana’s question. Suddenly she was aware of the servers passing through the brunch goers in the hall. The click of Tiana’s heels broke overran all the other sounds as she walked to Julianna and took her hands in her own.

  “Julianna,” Tiana began. Her voice was soft and comforting. An air of sympathy covered her face. “You need to break through this. I saw something back there at the concert. Something came alive in you that I hadn’t seen since you were married to my brother. I don’t know what it will lead to, none of us do. But if it’s a violinist’s music that helps it along, then go with it. Frederick wouldn’t want you to shut down because he left us early. He would want you to live. And if that means finding out just what a violin feels like being plucked and fondled by a handsome man like that one in there, then go with it. Heaven knows I would.”

  “Tiana, you’re horrible. I don’t even know if this will lead to anything. Or even what this is.”

  Tiana squeezed her hands. “So don’t let that stop you.”

  “I do have to wonder what it feels like to be that violin, though,” Julianna said with a smile as she turned with Tiana toward the music room. Her expression froze as she saw Andrew standing in the doorway watching them. At that moment she felt her insides lurch into her stomach and she wished the ceiling would open up so she’d be sucked up into a vortex in the sky.

  “That’s my cue, back to brunch. Coming, Mother!” Tiana dashed passed the grinning Andrew into the music room.

  Julianna tried to grab her sister-in-law
but the little wretch was quicker than she was. Suddenly the room got a whole lot hotter. She wondered just how much of the conversation he had heard.

  Before she could stop herself, the words left her lips. “How long were you standing there?”

  A playful smirk touched at the corners of his mouth. His gaze dipped to the floor and he wrapped his hands behind his back as he walked toward her. The gesture made him seem like a little school boy who had caught his teacher red handed. “Oh, I’d say not nearly long enough judging from Princess Tiana’s blushes.”

  Julianna shifted nervously. She had learned and practiced the intricacies of poise and eloquence. Made sure she held herself with her head high, back straight while exuding an air of confidence. The moment she turned around to face Andrew, she felt as if it all slipped out of her like helium from a hot air balloon. She wanted to be sucked right out of the hall and into the ground below. Anywhere it was dark so she could stay hidden. She was sure her cinnamon brown cheeks glowed a touch of red as heat filled it.

  “Will you accompany me on a walk?” Andrew asked. “That is, if the party doesn’t mind.”

  She leaned over to look past his shoulder where the small concert had turned into a networking party. Marie Caroline and her husband had gathered their friends around and began chatting. No doubt about the cricket matches and business dealings of the state. Suddenly that walk seemed all the more enticing.

  “I think I’ll take you up on that.”

  The thick greenery fell across the surrounding area, wrapping around the large mansion like a castle in an old fairytale. Various cars were lined up outside the home’s driveway ranging in year, make and model but all antique in their origins. They walked along the outstretched field of green behind the large home. The sky was overcast with big white fluffy clouds and a hint of dew was on the horizon. Julianna was sure thunder and lightning were on their way followed by the morning mist of oncoming rain. As Andrew spoke about his home, tours and family life she found the weather was the last thing on her mind. She smiled and watched him as she spoke adamantly about how he was inspired to pick up his violin at the age of three and how it had become his dream.